# Writing professional emails

**Source**: https://learninglab.rmit.edu.au/writing-fundamentals/writing-workplace/writing-emails/
**Parent**: https://learninglab.rmit.edu.au/writing-fundamentals/writing-workplace/

Emails are an important form of written communication in the workplace. This resource covers how to structure and write clear and concise professional emails.

As emails are short pieces of communication, there is a set structure you should use. One feature of this structure is putting important information first.

Why use this approach?

- People are busy and do not have enough time to read everything.
- The reader will look at the beginning and decide whether to read on.
- It helps keep the email short and to the point.

Remember to:

- put the most important information first
- remove any unnecessary information.

Emails refer to immediate situations and need to quickly get to the point.\

## Email model

### Email model

Most important information

Next most important

Next most important

Next most important

Least important

### Activity

Transcript

**Original email:**

Dear all,\
RMIT is a large university. All staff are on the email system. There have been occasions when an email virus has been sent to out employees. Many employees were not sure how to respond to this problem. Some employees forwarded these emails to others and the virus was able to spread. The university now has a policy in place to prevent the spread of such problems in future. All staff should notify a ITS Service and Support Officer immediately if they suspect they have received a virus.\
ITS Service and Support

**The main point is:**

All staff should notify an ITS Service and Support Officer immediately if they suspect they have received a virus.

**Rewritten email:**

Dear all,\
All staff are advised to contact a ITS Service and Support Officer immediately on suspicion of an email virus. Early awareness and detection should prevent future problems.\
ITS Service and Support

## Choose your words carefully

The words you use send strong signals about the tone of your message. These examples will help you to identify and use the right tone in your email messages.

Tone indicates your *attitude* towards a topic. You can create a *positive* tone by using positive words. Look at the examples below. The tone in the second sentences are more positive.

### Example 1

### Sentence 1

The report won’t be ready until Friday.

### Sentence 2

We will send the report on Friday.

### Example 2

### Sentence 1

You have not registered for this course and cannot attend until you do so.

### Sentence 2

Please register for this course so that you can attend.

<!--

**Sentence 1:**
The report won’t be ready until Friday.

**Sentence 2:**
We will send the report on Friday.

### Example 2

**Sentence 1:**
You have not registered for this course and cannot attend until you do so.

**Sentence 2:**
Please register for this course so that you can attend.

-->\
The words you use can also indicate your attitude towards the reader. In the examples below, the verbs used in the first column suggest a negative or emotive tone from the writer. The verbs in the second column are far more neutral.

| Negative tone | Neutral tone |
| --- | --- |
| You claim that... | You tell us that... |
| You fail to understand that... | May we point out that... |
| You neglected to send the contract. | The contract was not enclosed... |
| The alleged incident... | The incident you refer to... |

## Making requests

When writing professional emails, you may need to make requests or respond to requests. The language you use to do this is very important.

You will often need to ask other people to do something in your professional life. How you ask people to do this is very important. The language you use depends on the context and your relationship to the other person.

Look at the following request that has been written differently to show four different contexts.

| Context | Request |
| --- | --- |
| Very polite | Would it be possible to raise this issue with Rochelle next week? |
| Polite | Could you raise this issue with Rochelle next week? |
| Direct | Can you please raise this issue with Rochelle next week? |
| Direct order | Please raise this issue with Rochelle next week. |

### Declining requests

Sometimes, you may need to decline a request. You also need to do this politely. One way is to offer a reason. It is also helpful to suggest an alternative.

For example:

| Request | Response |
| --- | --- |
| Would it be possible to meet at 4pm today to discuss this further? | I'm afraid I'm not available at 4pm today. Can we catch up at 9:30am tomorrow morning? |
| If you could forward the documents before you go home this evening, that would be great. | Unfortunately, I am out of the office all day. Can I forward the documents first thing tomorrow morning? |
| Could you raise this issue with Rochelle when you meet her next week? | I'm sorry, I can't. I'll be out of the office all of next week. I'm back on the following Monday, so I could arrange to meet her then. |

### How polite are you?

Sometimes it is a good idea to ask a colleague to read your email before it is sent to the recipient. You can also find [websites that check your writing](https://www.fastcompany.com/3053713/these-7-online-tools-check-your-writing-for-empathy-and-inclusivity) for levels of politeness.\

## Subject lines

Subject lines tell the reader about the content and purpose of the email. They need to be clear, accurate and concise.

For example:

| Poor | Good (clear and concise) |
| --- | --- |
| Dumb workflow process  [Impolite: keep the tone neutral] | Clarifying workflow process |
| Update  [Too vague: be specific] | Collaborative media program update |
| Meeting on Tuesday at 9:30 to discuss next stage in project  [Too much detail for a subject line.] | Project meeting 30 Sept, 9:30am |

## Email greetings

Emails are an important form of written communication in the workplace. This resource covers how to write a professional email greeting.

The way you start your message is extremely important.

The words you use will depend on the context of:

- how well you know the person
- whether the person has a higher professional status than you
- whether you know the person's name and/or gender.

In business communication, it is advisable to use a more formal style.

| Salutation | Context | Description |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Dear Sir/Madam | Formal | When you don't know the name of the person you are writing to. |
| Dear Mr. Smith | Formal (Male) | When you know the family name. |
| Dear Ms. Mendez | Formal (Female) | When you know the family name   (N.B. 'Ms' now more commonly used than 'Miss' or 'Mrs'). |
| Dear Dr. Shrestha | Formal | When you know the family name and professional title. |
| Dear Yamabishi Jun | Formal | When you don't know which name is the family name, use the names as you have them.   (N.B. many cultures put their family name first. As an 'outsider' you probably won't know which name is which. Do not assume which is the family name and which is the first name). |
| Dear Harpreet | Semi-formal | When you know the first name and it is culturally appropriate to use the first name. |
| Hello Jerry | Informal | When you know the person's first name. |
| Hi Jerry | Very informal | Use only when you know the person well. |
| Hey Jerry | Extremely informal | Only use with people you know very, very well.   Not usually used in professional or workplace emails. |

## Email layout

Emails are very different from other types of professional writing. They need to be read quickly and generally do not contain a lot of detailed information. Here are some tips for creating an effective layout for your emails.

### Layout and bullet points

The layout of the email can significantly improve its readability.

- Present your points in smaller chunks of text.
- Use bullet points or numbering to draw attention to key points and/or lists

Look at the following examples:

Transcript

#### Poor readability

Hello Saul,

I hope this finds you well. I'm writing about the self-access HR materials for casual staff. Currently, these materials are only available in hard copy and this presents two problems: the materials often go missing and they become redundant as soon as policies are updated. The result is that people often do not have access to the policies and have to devote time and energy calling HR. It is also expensive in terms of printing costs as we constantly have to re-print the materials. Would it be possible to post these materials on the HR webpage? If your team could look into this, I'd be most grateful.

Best wishes\
Nadia

#### Improved readability

Hello Saul,

I hope this finds you well.

I'm writing about the self-access HR materials for casual staff.

Currently, these materials are only available in hard copy and this presents two problems:

- the materials often go missing and
- they become redundant as soon as policies are updated.

The result is that people often do not have access to the policies and have to devote time and energy calling HR. It is also expensive in terms of printing costs as we constantly have to re-print the materials.

Would it be possible to post these materials on the HR webpage? If your team could look into this, I'd be most grateful.

Best wishes\
Nadia

### Email endings

The way you end your email message is important and depends on the context. This includes:

- how you started your email
- how well you know the person
- the recipient's professional status.

| Closing | Context | Description |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Yours faithfully | Formal | Use this if you start the letter with 'Dear Sir/Madam,' |
| Yours sincerely,  Sincerely | Formal/semi-formal | This is very flexible and can be used with any of the other salutations starting with 'Dear' |
| Many thanks,  Best wishes,  Kind regards,  Regards | Semi-formal | Do not use with Dear Sir/Madam |
| Cheers,  Best | Informal | Often used in Australia, but may be less commonly used in other contexts. |

Transcript

Nadia and Saul work for the same company. They have a good professional relationship. Saul works in Human Resources (HR). Nadia manages a group of casual staff.

The brackets show the features of a good email.

To: saul.bihari@modernflair.com

From: nadia.rajapakse@modernflair.com

Subject: Self-access HR materials (clear, accurate and concise subject line)

Hello Saul (use of informal greeting is appropriate as they know one another)

I hope this finds you well.

I'm writing about the self-access HR materials for casual staff. (purpose for writing the email is stated clearly at the beginning)

Currently, these materials are only available in hard copy and this presents two problems: (layout of email is easy to read with use of bullet points)

- the materials often go missing and
- they become redundant as soon as policies are updated.

The result is that people often do not have access to the policies and have to devote time and energy calling HR. It is also expensive in terms of printing costs as we constantly have to re-print the materials.

Would it be possible to post these materials on the HR webpage? If your team could look into this, I’d be most grateful. (Nadia politely suggests a solution in a professional neutral tone)

Best wishes (appropriate informal ending as they know each other)\
Nadia

Nadia Rajapakse (Ms.) (Most organisations require employees to use email templates including ways of formatting your signature)\
Operational Manager\
Modern Flair Designs\
Unit 3, Melbourne\
VIC 3000\
tel: 03 - 852 - 1773

## Quick tips

- Use a professional sounding email address. If possible, use one that includes your name. Don't use inappropriate email addresses such as hot\_chick13@hotmail.com!
- Proof read your email. Check that names and titles (where appropriate) are correctly spelled and punctuated, and be sure that the information is correct.
- Be careful when responding to a group email. 'Reply all' may not be appropriate as everyone on the mailing list will receive your email.
- Avoid using jargon and acronyms unless you are very confident that the reader knows what they mean, e.g. FYI (for your information).
- Writing in the workplace is usually formal or semi-formal. It is rarely acceptable to use text shorthand such as 'LOL' or emoticons such as .
- Try to respond to emails in a timely manner. If this is not possible, acknowledge that you have received the email and indicate when you will have the answer.
- Be aware of any guidelines or regulations around email use in your professional context.

### Sources

- [How to write in plain English (free guides)](https://www.plainenglish.co.uk/free-guides)
- [Schools Victoria: Literacy and English](https://www.schools.vic.gov.au/literacy-and-english)

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## Keywords

- [Email communication](https://learninglab.rmit.edu.au/keyword/email-communication/)
- [Professional writing](https://learninglab.rmit.edu.au/keyword/professional-writing/)

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