Do I need to Chat the Weird Out?

Source: https://www.chattheweirdout.auckland.ac.nz/the-toolkit/do-i-need-to-chat-the-weird-out/ Parent: https://www.chattheweirdout.auckland.ac.nz/

Approaching someone to talk about a problem you’re experiencing can often feel a little intimidating. Whether you’ve just realised something isn’t working, you’re confused on how to figure that out, or you’ve been mulling over a situation for a few weeks now, you may be asking;

• Do I need to Chat the Weird Out?
• What would happen if I didn’t?

• And is it worth the effort?

• Do I need to chat the weird out?

Is it that serious? Is it my problem? Will it help me in the long run? Start off by asking yourself some questions to gauge where you’re sitting emotionally on the issue you’re facing, share your thoughts with friends or write it down somewhere. Processing where you’re at is always a good start to knowing how to move forward.

• What kind of problem are you facing? Can it be solved with a conversation or two?
• Do you think that solving this problem will have a positive impact on your life?
• is it interfering with your day-to-day life? Taking up a lot of space?
• Is it a big problem that needs an active solution? Or an awkward problem that may resolve itself with time.
• If it’s a problem with one specific person, does the nature of your relationship warrant a conversation? Or is it better for someone else to communicate.

• Have you discussed your feelings with other people experiencing the situation and/or objective friends outside of the situation to check you’re being reasonable?

• What would happen if I didn’t?

To answer this question, we first we need to know how to judge the situation we’re already in. Ask yourself;

• Am I avoiding people/places/conversations because of this situation?
• Would it make my life easier or less stressful if the situation were resolved?
• Would chatting it out help me to feel more comfortable in my relationships with the people involved?

If most or all of your answers to those questions were yes, we can infer that generally, you’ll continue to be impacted negatively by leaving it to sit. And we can move on to our last question.

1. Is it worth the effort?

Chatting the Weird Out can take a lot of time and energy, scheduling time with people to bring up stressful feelings/memories/problems can be really difficult – when we have a lot on our plate, is it worth it to spend that time initiating vulnerable conversations? Here is where it’s a good idea to write a pro-con list for your situation. We know that nothing positive will come from leaving it to sit, but will the positives caused by chatting it out outweigh the potential negatives? (fatigue, added stress, awkwardness if it doesn’t work out) Your situation is to be judged by you; stress, time constraints, social abilities and mental health all play a part in whether Chatting the Weird Out is an accessible solution for you. Make that pro-con list, talk it through with a friend, and find the best route for you to take.